I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
