no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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