P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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