Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
