as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
