Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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