there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
