first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
