They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize