Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
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Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
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u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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