God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
as a side note pls kill me
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
