u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
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