Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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