i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
