Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
