it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize