ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
