Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
