i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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