She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
