we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
