So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
