Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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