I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
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