we're blogging at a bar
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
