i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
