my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
