Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
