found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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