no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
