oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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