i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
