please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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