Do vagina's smell?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
