tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
