I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
