This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize