So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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