please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize