And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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