so explain again why im purple
no
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
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I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
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I AM VODKA MAN
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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