Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
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you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
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I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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