I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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