you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
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