I heard we made out
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
