Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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