Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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