He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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