I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
why do cheetos always look like penises
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
