So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
