What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
