So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
