how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
