idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
