Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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