I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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