i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
