What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
