we have officially lost it.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize